John_Garrison.exe @john@fedi.garrison.beer

actually, i'm just gonna try to quit fedi.

if you want to find me and don't know how, my email is listed in my profile

Say "This picante sauce was made in New York City!"

If they respond "wut," then they were born after.

If they respond "NEW YORK CITY????", they were born before.

i said i was quitting fedi, but it's more like i'm moderating. seems ok so far

Me: *tries to get ahold of a small friendly dog wearing no collar and running loose*

Someome four houses away: HE'S FINE, LEAVE HIM ALONE!

Me: ...

Good evening to everyone except people who call a rideshare to pick them up at an apartment complex and don't text the gate code and/or where to fucking pick them up.

it's not a handball penalty just because the offense kicked the ball into the defender's hand

who jerk off over linux

me: pleroma has whitelist federation, i wonder if i could solve my concerns by running a solo pleroma server

pleroma server setup guide: *a bunch of goddamn fossbro bullshit that the uninitiated can't possibly understand*

me: nevermind i guess

ron johnson might be replaced by a democrat

joe manchin will only ever be replaced by a republican

hey

hey you

yeah you, the one complaining about joe manchin

name all 50 republican senators who are refusing to support the voting rights bill

actually, i'm just gonna try to quit fedi.

if you want to find me and don't know how, my email is listed in my profile

taking a break from fedi a while i guess

I don't want to kill myself but I do want to never have existed

why the crap does launchpad mcquack's house have "LU" as a logo on it?

young people: just because it's in a forwarded email doesn't mean it's true, dad...

also young people: *believe everything if it's said in a tik tok*

huey, dewey, and louie just referred to flintheart glomgold's tam o' shanter as a "weird pancake hat," which honestly is kinda adorable

me: porsh
@Juju in my brain: 😡

Right after this, Uncle Scrooge tells them that he's going to be keeping a portion of their tips, which is not only unethical but also a violation of federal labor law. It's also something that is not incredibly uncommon in the tipped service industry.

It's amazing how often a cartoon caricature of a wealthy capitalist is just like the real thing.

how easy rich people think it is to stop being poor